Eroticism is a sexual desire or excitement or, simply put, attraction. The attraction is a universally acknowledged term that insinuates a passion fueled by another person. At the same time, love is a culturally recognized term for a deeper relationship. The erotic realm does not only involve penetrative sex; oral sex has been an increasingly popular practice. A 2019 study in Italy shows that the most widespread practice, by a whopping 80.7%, was oral sex. However, in relationships, things could become stagnant, and a new spark or challenge could change the couple’s whole dynamic and increase intimacy.
- 1 The Origin of Eroticism
- 2 Underrated Erotic Positions
- 3 Crazy Sex Positions
- 4 DIY Punishment Games
- 5 Torture Games, Devices, and Books You Can Buy
- 6 Final Recommendation
The Origin of Eroticism
Unfortunately, the word eroticism is often associated with prostitution, obscenity, or unethical forms of expressing sexual behaviors in society. However, the core meaning of eroticism spreads across numerous fields of science, including biology, sociology, and psychology.
In Biology, eroticism is not frequently used and instead is substituted with the phrase sexual relation. Hence, there does not seem to be a universally acknowledged difference between the two terms, as biologists have been using them interchangeably.
According to Symons, author of The Evolution of Human Sexuality, he deems eroticism as the psychology of sexual arousal. He believes eroticism to be an attraction to someone else. At the same time, sexuality is different, and he considers it an emotionally volatile characteristic.
As for sociology, renowned anthropologist Fisher describes eroticism as a combination of lust and true love. He does not believe the two could be separated and that eroticism stems from a variety of both.
It was not until 1853 that the word eroticism came into existence. Before that, sexuality was the only term adopted, and it was first used in 1789, insinuating the action of being sexual. The critical difference is that sexuality is present in all living beings; the need for reproduction and survival. However, the term eroticism is when there is an arousal of feelings of sexual desire. It is only perceived in human beings and results from apparent intimacy that sexual relations steer up in humans, primarily due to the closeness and frequent eye contact.
Underrated Erotic Positions
Now, let us dive in straight to the juicy part. Have you ever been in a long-term relationship and noticed that your partner is no longer as enthusiastic about having sex as they used to? Maybe you simply feel your routine is too stagnant, and things have been getting boring in the bedroom.
Whatever it is, we all have that nagging feeling inside of us that gets bored at times, craves change, and is always looking for a way to spice things up. The key note here is that in a marriage, relationship, monogamous or polyamorous commitment, there comes a time when you or your partner want to try something new. Whether you want to experiment with a new position, a new game, or bringing in some new elements into your sex life, there is always an intriguing choice.
These new positions, games, and equipment to buy is going to enhance your sex life, grow your intimacy, and generally bring you closer to your partner. There is no better way to tell someone you fully trust them other than giving them the reins and trying the most outrageous yet fun things with.
1. Doggy Style
Yes. Doggy style. You might argue that this does not bring you closer together with your partner or makes things more intimate, but you’re mistaken. On the contrary, this position can cause you to feel incredibly connected. Sure, this does not involve any eye contact, but think about it; this position requires trust and closeness.
The fundamental way to perform this position is to have the penetrating partner from behind—the receiver on all fours in front of him, facing away.
To make this position super intimate, ask the penetrating partner to lean forward and hug the receiving partner tightly while doing slow thrusts. This gives your partner the chance to touch the receiver all over, hold their hand, control the speed, and take responsibility for the whole act. This requires a considerable amount of trust. This also gives your partner the opportunity to whisper into your ear, making it even more exhilarating.
2. The Chairman
The chairman is one of the industry’s best sex experts’ favorite moves. These experts say that this position spices up your sex life hits the right spot, and brings you two closer together.
The chairman is said to stimulate the female’s G-spot accurately and gives your hands the freedom to roam around and venture on other endeavors.
To get into position, one of you would be seated and the other would be on top, with your back towards your partner. Your partner might need to lean back a little to make this position more comfortable. If you are willing to take it up to the next level, bring your knees closer to your chest and support your feet on the edge of the bed, which gives you more control.
3. Scoop Me Up
If you feel particularly lazy or craving some skin-on-skin contact, then this one is for you. Scoop me up is a fancier way of saying spooning, but it is an incredibly underrated position. It is also the ideal position for the winter blues, a way to stay cozy and snuggled up against each other.
Here, you have to lie on your side and let your partner wrap you with their arms from behind as they penetrate you. The position allows your partner to touch you all over, simulating numerous different spots at once.
This position awakens all your sensations, does not require you to move that much, and allows deep penetration that will be sensational for both of you.
For added intensity, bring his head closer to you with your hands till he touches your skin; this acts as a stimulation since heat can be a particular turn-on. Also, place his hand on your shoulder to ensure a more intense thrust as it makes him control his rhythm even better.
Crazy Sex Positions
Now, what if you’re looking for something hotter? Maybe something that requires you to take more control and be the dominant one? Do you want to perform something out of the ordinary and walk out of your comfort zone to be edgier and be in control of the situation?
In one particular study published in 2017, researchers found out that women keep their sexual relations private – more than men do. The study also looks into gender power and inequality in sexual intercourse, mainly that women reflect emotional and relational security in the bedroom, reflecting men’s ability. The research shows that men control the bedroom more often than not, leaving little space for the women to voice their desires.
Well, here is your chance to burst out of your comfort zone and try these new crazy positions. This will allow you and your partner to explore new territory, test your limits and flexibility, and possibly laugh and connect on a deeper level.
This move is said to be incredible for having amazing orgasms. However, it is not for the weak-hearted. If you and your partner are adventurous, this might be the move that changes your sex life.
This position requires flexibility, so make sure you are relatively flexible and warmed up before you attempt this move. Then, you should lie on your back with your legs raised above you while your partner bends them towards your face. Then, your partner bends over to be able to penetrate your vagina and thrusts inside of you. This thrusting move is said to mimic the making of butter, hence the name of the position.
This move forces the two of you to have constant eye contact and is possibly the perfect position to try if you find it hard to orgasm. The upside-down placement heightens your sensations and could provide you with an even more intense orgasm.
5. Standing Wheelbarrow
The standing wheelbarrow is quite a challenging position but offers deep penetration and intense sensations. This will require the man to do most of the heavy-lifting to support you, and you would need to keep yourself by carrying your whole weight on your arms.
The penetrating partner would stand straight to perform this move while their partner supports themselves on the floor with their hands. Next, the receiving partner’s legs are carried in the air and places on each side of the penetrating partner.
Suppose you use your sexual activities as a means to get in that extra cardio session. In that case, this is the ideal position for you. The work involved is quite strenuous and burns more calories than other movements.
6. The Gallery
The gallery – time for the women to shine. The reason this is a fantastic position is that it gives women a chance to take control. Also, it could give the man a thrill seeing his woman take charge in the bedroom.
This move is a variation on another one known as reverse cowgirl. To perform this, the penetrating partner lies on the bed with his legs forward and arms supporting their back. Then, the woman would lie down on her partner’s legs, her head near her partner’s feet, straddle their hips, and use arms for support. Now, the woman’s butt would be facing her partner, and her legs stretched out behind her.
The benefit of this move is that it gives the woman a chance to control the pace and provide her with a more intense sensation. Moreover, from this angle, the man can control the rhythm by placing his hands on the woman’s butt and pushing her back and forth.
DIY Punishment Games
Maybe you are not in the mood for trying out new positions and simply want to spice up the build up to the intercourse itself. Maybe you want to try playing different roles and characters, strip tease, or simply play a game that will make everything more interesting.
You can create some games with basic things you have around the house. Some of these games involve teasing, utensils, water, or simply some verbal teasing.
7. The Guessing Game
The guessing game is an incredibly sensual game to play with your partner. You could adjust it as you like according to your level of kink.
With this, the dominant one blindfolds the sub (if you do not have anything that you can use as a blindfold, ask your partner to promise you to keep their eyes closed). Then, the dominant collects a series of items to stimulate the sub’s body (ensure both of you consent to this beforehand).
Some suggestions include ice cubes for stimulation, a paddle, a feather, or candle wax. If you decide to use candle wax, make sure you got the safe one. There are specific ones safe for body-melting.
You can have fun with this; every time you touch your partner with something, they should guess what it is. If they guess correctly, you could reward them. If they give an incorrect answer, you can “punish” them, like spank them.
8. Time Bomb
For this game, you need a timer.
Set the time limit for as long as you would like. For instance, if you set your timer to 20 minutes, you cannot have penetrative sex. This focuses on the intimacy between you and your partner, allowing you to relish in kisses, strengthen foreplay, and discover new things you or your partner enjoy.
It allows you to reconnect with your partner on a deeper level.
Work on teasing your partner until they are begging you to give it all to them. 64% of women and 54% of men fantasize about being dominated. Now is your chance to take turns and experiment.
You can tie them up and kiss them slowly and gently on every single inch of their body till they are squirming.
Ask your partner what they like. Maybe they are turned on by a little spanking or soft biting? Perhaps they like it when you kiss rough rather than smooth, soft kisses?
This is a chance to explore the different sensitive areas of your partner. As you explore their body while they’re tied up, for example, you can see how their body reacts and moves to certain moves or actions you do. Taking control allows you to get a better understanding of what makes your partner tick.
10. Use Ice and Heat
Different temperatures can stir up sensations of overwhelming arousal. It also provides the perfect weapon to stimulate different erotic parts of your partner’s body. To get the maximum out of this, blindfold your partner so they would not expect where you will touch them next. Then, you can use an ice-cube over all different parts of your partner’s body. For a warmer sensation, keep a heated cup of water next to the bed, and then cup your hand around it so your hand warms up. Then, run your hand all over your partner’s body. Keep alternating between hot and cold to simulate different sensations constantly.
Torture Games, Devices, and Books You Can Buy
There is this phenomenal discovery, known as edging, in which you bring your partner close to orgasming. Still, you do not let them complete it.
Buying and using a vibrator will make these feelings a thousand times more intense for both guys and girls.
A vibrator could be precisely what you and your partner have been looking for. There is no shame in not achieving orgasm every time, but using a vibrator could provide a better chance of satisfaction for both of you. This could be torturous and could feel like punishment, but the end result is very much worth it.
12. LOOPY Card Game
This game adds heat and vivid emotions to your relationship, challenging both of you to your max. The cards have compelling instructions on them that will make you laugh and will turn you on. It gives both of you challenges to torture each other and offers different dares in the form of punishment.
This simple card game strengthens your relationship with your partner, as it is a naughty game but it will teach both of you a little more about each other.
You will not be able to imagine how amazing being handcuffed or handcuffing someone’s feelings. Not controlling what the other person does to you puts you in a vulnerable position, meaning you completely trust the other person to do what they want with you.
Being handcuffed will be a wonderful experience for both participants. The handcuffed person will have their sensations heightened since one of their sensors has been deprived. Moreover, the person in control can be turned on since they have all the power, and they are gazing down on the other person’s naked body.
14. Book: Sex Position for Couples
Nothing will strengthen your bond with your partner more than purchasing some juicy book with all the ridiculous sex positions and laughing over them.
Sure, you might laugh over some of them. Still, curiosity will eventually take over, and both of you will want to try at least one of the positions.
Reading this book with your partner might be a game-changer. It will introduce you to numerous new positions, and you can pick and choose from so many positions.
15. Sexy Costumes
Talk with your partner about this, and agree on a specific theme. Some fantasy you have had, or one he has, and play it out. You will be surprised what might come your way, as acting out someone else sexual fantasies are not only a vast turn-on, but it also gives the other person a better trust in you.
16. Bondage Kit
Now, this is for the kinkiest of people out there.
This particular kit has ten pieces of things that can be used as part of a punishment. It involves handcuffs, blindfolds, whips, and much more.
This is only for the strong-hearted who are ready to take a more exciting road to discover BDSM.
17. Sex Toys
Grab your partner and go on an adventure to a sex shop. Buy whatever catches your eyes and try it out.
Laugh in the shop when you notice people staring at you. Find something that you can tease and slowly torture your partner with (obviously in a sensual way).
According to a study in 2018, sex toys and dolls have been increasingly popular in society. There is no shame in buying something for your pleasure, and certainly nothing with using it with your partner.
The best thing to invest in a relationship is something that is long-lasting, fun, exciting, and intriguing. I would recommend the Bondage Kit since it contains numerous objects that can be used in different scenarios, MELONY Massage Candle Oil to spice things up, and which you can use whenever you are on the lookout for something new.
 Symons, Donald. “The evolution of human sexuality.” (1979)
 Hunt, Lynn Avery, ed. Eroticism and the body politic. Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 1991
 Fiaveh, Daniel Y., and Michael PK Okyerefo. “Femininity, sexual positions and choice.” Sexualities 22.1-2 (2019): 131-147.
 Döring, Nicola, and Sandra Pöschl. “Sex toys, sex dolls, sex robots: Our under-researched bed-fellows.” Sexologies 27.3 (2018): e51-e55.