12 Femdom ideas to dominate your man with
Let’s change the rules a little and walk away from the perception that society has built-in our heads. Today we are talking about Women and domination! It is high time that you get to embrace your dominant self and set yourself free. There is nothing wrong with a man being dominant and a woman being submissive and neither is the other way! Nothing is sexier than a lady standing in front of her slave with a whip on her arm and the man bowing to her feet. It’s part of embracing feminism and allowing women to take charge. So, how can you dominate your man?
Top Female Domination Ideas
Foot Worship
Foot worship is one of the most amazing ways to showcase your dominance. It is very easy to accomplish and delivers maximum pleasure to the Dom. Let your slave get on his knees and lick your toes as he massages your legs. You can spice up your dominance by calling him diminishing names or even stepping on him.
This should however be done with a lot of care as one can easily get hurt. In as much as Stilettos are sexy, avoid stepping on delicate body parts while wearing them. If he is a pain enthusiast, you can consider doing it softly at first just to test how much pain he can handle.
Cock and Ball Bondage
This enables you to control when your sub is allowed to have an erection. Pegging is the best option but should however be done with care. Experiment with different sizes first to know the best-suited fit.
Pegging is efficient as one can even wear a cage to work without people noticing. It gives the dominant full control over her slave.
Sissy Play
Do you enjoy playing dress-up? If yes, this is the best play for you! The idea is dressing your sub up in lady’s clothes and letting him walk around the house in them.
While it is hilarious, it can also be fun mostly during shopping. Do not forget to tell him how pretty he looks and shames him. If you are feeling extra, you can go ahead and apply make-up on him for that extra thrill.
Impact Play
Whether it’s some old-fashioned hand spanking or using a paddle, Impact play is a must-try for everyone. To make it more interesting, make your sub imitate different animals as you spank him. You can go ahead to give him an animal pet name and make him wear a collar. If you are feeling a little extra, you can go ahead and order him on his fours.
Bondage
There are multiple ways how this can work. From cuffs to satin clothes to using bed restraints to fully restrain him, Ankle cuffs, the options are diverse.
You can also use a penis-shaped mouth gag to humiliate him and prevent him from talking. Nipple clamps are also a unique way of making him hard while showing your dominance. They let you control the amount of pain to be experienced by your Sub.
Teasing
This is the hardest form of submission that many slaves go through. They have to have complete control of their mental state to keep themselves from going against their Dom’s rules.
The most difficult session is trying not to reach out and touch your madam when she is masturbating and moaning loudly in your presence. It puts the submissive self-control to test but at the same time is exciting.
Manners
Let your sub know that he needs your permission when it comes to anything BDSM-related. Be it touching you, Cumming, using sex toys on himself, you control all that he does.
He should beg, say please, and thank you when given a treat for good behavior or for misbehaving. Being the dominant means that you are the Alpha thus the decision-maker.
Cuckolding
This refers to getting intimate with another man and letting your sub watch it. This can be intimidating mostly if the new man is more attractive in physique and looks compared to your Sub.
You can however choose another option and use toys on yourself or pretend to have an affair with someone else. This can however be dangerous to the well-being of your relationship and should only be done if both partners are okay with it.
Orgasm Control
The man gets to experience an orgasm whenever the woman chooses to let him! That is how controlling Femdom can be. Orgasms are given as rewards for good behavior and denied as a form of punishment.
Dominant Girlfriend: How to dominate a man physically and mentally
Domination is more than just a skill, it is an art. But how do you tell whether you are fit for the role of a female dom? First and foremost, let’s forget about the traditional society domination perspective.
Have you ever asked your man to kiss you and he did? Asked him to pick up groceries and he obeyed? I am sure that it felt right and you were both okay with it. That’s how you know that you can be dominant. Simple things that you didn’t give much thought but they still gave you some pleasure.
What if the man is not supportive?
Dominance is a hard thing for men to persevere from a lady but the secret is into how you do it. Every man low-key wants to experience pleasure, they want to give up control every once in a while and most importantly, they have some sexual fantasies which are yet to be fulfilled.
This is where your door is at, your answer to dominance fulfillment. You need to start with baby steps, ask your man to do minor tasks that he won’t mind such as kissing you, rubbing some lotion on your skin, helping you make dinner. Take time to learn his fantasies while at the same time maintaining an open mind.
Submission should not be forced, you should let your man enjoy every step of it and learn to appreciate the small sparks that come with it. This way, he will be completely open to embracing the process.
Domination is not equal to cruelty
At first, research might teach you that being a dominatrix means treating men unfairly but that is ultimately the wrong approach. How would you like it if your partner cruelly treated you? If he kept shouting at you and throwing rude names at you while people are around?
The first rule of domination is treating your sub with respect. This way, it will be easy to gain trust and build a bond. Put yourself in your slave’s shoes and ask yourself whether you would be okay with being treated how you treat him.
Go on random dates, text him every once in a while to remind him of sweet memories, update him on the tasks that you are going to partake in once you meet. Make your relationship fun and watch it flourish from there onwards.
Understand Yourself First
Before taking up the dominant role, take time to understand yourself first both physically and mentally. Ask yourself the reasons why you want to do it, discover what turns you on and what you would expect from your partner.
You may be over-ambitious at first but take time to slowly evolve into a masterpiece. Share your feelings and ideas with your sub and although some might be hilarious, take the chance. Why do you think the Fifty Shades series was so prosperous? It is because people took the time to watch it, see and understand what turns them on and then lastly, share it with others.
Books, movies, and porn hubs are a good way to help discover yourself and there is no shame in investing in yourself. You need to love yourself first before letting others do it!
Is it normal to struggle with outdated roles?
Your upbringing strongly influences the type of person you become in the future. It is fine to struggle with changing roles but at the same time, do not allow yourself to become a slave of your past life. It may take a long time and at first, you may fear talking about your sexual life publicly.
Friends who are in the same kinky practices can help you out with this. In the long run, you will end up embracing your kinky side to the fullest and being one of the best dominatrices.
Do not Over Invest in sex toys
Sex toys are amazing additions to your sex life but do not over-rely on them. Learn to use your words to command your slave and let him obey without relying on any restraints. He might struggle at first but with practice, he will learn to obey your rules. You should however always reward good behaviors as a way of encouragement.
Finally
Female domination is a major turn-on to men when done right. Men always appreciate a woman who can take control and one who knows what she wants. Do not be afraid to bring out your hidden kinky side, instead use it to your advantage to please your slave and take control.
Female Led Relationship: How Strong Women Maintain the Control
Since ancient times, society has managed to manipulate the human mind into believing that men are meant to be dominant and the only place a woman can be is at home feeding and taking care of children.
Gone is that era and in comes a series of strong, capable, and unapologetically stable women. These women are not scared of telling a man what to do, they do not follow the guidelines kept in place by society but instead, find their way around complexity and emerge victoriously.
What it means to lead in a Relationship
The emergence of female-dominated relationships has been able to help men embrace strong-minded women and see them as superiors. These women are capable of making their own decisions and running relationships comfortably.
But what does leading entail? Being the lead automatically qualifies you to be an Alpha in the relationship. The role comes with great responsibility and the need for a sound mind.
It is your responsibility to make all the major decisions in the relationship. This means that your decisions can either be a success or fail and you will need to embrace the aftermath. It is also your place to protect your partner, make him feel safe and emotionally connected. While you may not be the primary provider, you will have the duty to plan dates, get gifts and sex toys. You may also have to make the vital decision of breaking up if the relationship becomes toxic to one partner.
In short, it is not easy to become a dominatrix but neither is it impossible. Strong women never take no for an answer and neither do they accept failure. All it takes is practice and clear communication with your partner.
Feminism and Female Led Relationships are different
Dominatrix does not take over the man’s role. They embrace their femininity in the best way possible. Domes love to dress in a sexually appealing way, they will wear heels, put on makeup, have their hair done, and smell nice.
FMR does not mean that the man gets to do all the chores in the house and take care of the kids as the woman makes her nails. There is no stamp to who does what, both partners work hand in hand, and only once in a while does the man need to do the chores as a form of punishment. These types of punishments are well-sorted and fully discussed to an agreement. It can involve commando cleaning, sexy dress-up laundry cleaning, and making breakfast while wearing nothing other than a kitchen apron.
Why do women want Female-led Relationships?
Who wouldn’t want a relationship where they have the power to make decisions? FLR gives women the opportunity to be themselves without being questioned. They can mold their men into what they want and that is what every woman dreams of.
These types of relationships offer a lot of growth opportunities for women and what is better than having a man who loves letting his woman lead? This leaves very little room for arguments and disagreements in the relationship.
Types of Female Led Relationships
FLR can be divided into four categories namely;
Low-Level Female Control
This is usually the mildest form of Female-led relationships. In most cases, the woman is not fully invested in the dominant role but does it to please the man. She makes few decisions and is often not fully decisive.
Moderate Level Female Control
This is mostly associated with women who are experimenting with FLR. They make decisions but not daily. These women often enjoy taking control but are afraid that doing it full-time might cause harm to the relationship.
Defined Control
The woman is not afraid to take control and in fact, controls almost everything from the finances, sex life, life decisions. The man is fine with this and finds it sexy to let the woman become the Alpha.
Extreme Control
This is the most extreme type and although rare, it does exist. The woman takes complete control over the man’s life. The man becomes a slave and does everything the woman asks. The woman controls how the man lives, what he does, and how he does it. In most cases, the woman is the breadwinner in the relationship.
Lastly
Strong women know what they want and are not afraid to put themselves out there. That is how they take control of their relationships and lives. They do not let people boss them around because they know they are the complete package. Most women opt for the defined control type of relationship where the man can go about his daily routine but still bow down to her orders. It however doesn’t hurt to be different thus do not let anything hold you back from exploring and finding what works best for you.
Submissive Dating: How to Attract and keep a Dom
Attracting a vanilla lady is already difficult which makes making a dominant woman get your attention even harder. Dominant women are very hard to find and please. It takes a lot of determination and time for a submissive to get into a Female dominated arrangement but it is not impossible. But how do you attract and keep a Domme?
Tips on how to attract and keep a Domme
Don’t make a lot of Assumptions
Most men have an imaginative idea of how a dominant woman is supposed to look in terms of appearance, jobs which is why they do not succeed. Not all dominant women walk around wearing corsets and thigh-high boots. They are not CSI or P. Is but instead, they are just normal women doing normal careers.
Maybe she is a waitress at the local café which you always visit or a dentist but your perception is the reason behind your failure.
Looking Online
If you are looking for an experienced Domme, there are two places to start your search, online and in real life. This does not mean that every woman with an online platform is dominant. In this world and stage, less than 5% of the women are dominant and kinky.
Making use of sites such as Fetlife will help you interact and probably find yourself a Domme. Fetlife is not a dating site so before thinking about messaging a Domme, take your time and see what her profile states. Does she want a sub? Do you fit her qualifications? If she is not searching, it is best to respect that and stay away from her chatbox. Take time to craft a message and remember, no one wants a weird message telling her she looks beautiful. Dominant women are not naïve and cocky messages will not lead you anywhere.
Finding her Offline
Your Domme might be a waitress or even a policewoman but how can you find her without kissing all the frogs? The BDSM community often holds meet-ups and parties which are attended by kinky couples and friends. Take your time to show up here and do not forget to interact with people. You may not find one but you will make friends who can introduce you to a dominant woman in the future.
Be clear with what you need
Do you want a full commitment? Is it a part-time thing? Do you want a relationship or an arrangement? Before approaching a Domme, it is important to examine your priorities.
FLR can be addictive and clear communication is necessary. Definition of what you are looking for will prevent you from future disappointments probably due to over expectations.
What do you have to offer?
This helps you know whether your best option should be paid Domme or a real connection. Real commitment ensures that what you bring to the table satisfies both parties equally. If you are opting for one-sided pleasure, it is best to choose the payment option.
Know your Domme
Do not pick anyone you come across. Be selective and get to know who you are getting involved with on a personal level. Never start a relationship by acting submissive. The first date should be decent, nothing sexual, just learning more about each other lives, experiences, and expectations. This is just like any other relationship so take your time to choose the best match.
Learn to be a good submissive
A good submissive has his friends, goals, and accomplishments. He is a man who can fully function in the absence of his submissive. Dominant women want to be submitted to not follow around. Learn the difference between being a doormat and a submissive.
Contribute to the Relationship
Whether it is on ideas or financially, do not let your Domme fully handle everything without confirmation about her comfortability. Feel free to share your fantasies, let her know your no-go zones and what you wouldn’t mind trying.
Fun her account once in a while and surprise her with gifts. Dominant women are also human and therefore need the same care package as every human does. Learn to correct her when she’s wrong but do it with care.
Finally,
Female-led relationships are what most men crave for but very few can sustain them. A strong woman comes with needs and rules which need a lot of sacrifices on the man’s side. It is vital to take your time before fully committing to a Domme. Get to know what her motive is, how strong her decision-making skills and whether she is someone who you would be fine giving the power to make your life’s decisions.
How to talk dirty to your man (with 20 examples)
Talking dirty to your man is one of the special arts that many people find embracing but is genuinely an absolute turn-on. How amazing is it to make your man hard just by word of mouth or a simple text?
Talking dirty is simpler than you perceive but here are a few examples that can help you through if you are completely new at this. You might just as well find that you are an absolute pro at this unknowingly;
Talk dirty examples that will turn your man on
It’s all about me tonight, so get down on your knees and work that tongue.
As a Domme, taking control is what makes your man love you. He wants a woman who can command him, make him go down on his knees just to please you.
How about you command him to eat you out while on his knees and to make it more interesting, ask him not to touch you with his hands while doing it? Make your bedroom affairs a little bit spicier.
Boy, I’m going to need your service tonight.
Keep the text straight to the point and simple. You will want your man to have an imaginative day at work and look forward to meeting you in the evening.
To make it more interesting, build his curiosity by avoiding specifications of what you have planned for him. This will make you linger in his mind the entire day.
You have been a bad boy and deserve some spanking
Talking dirty can be a major turn-on. Your man will appreciate his punishments better if they are given while you are dressed up in a corset, holding a whip on your hand. Make him apologize for his wrongs as he receives his spanking or better yet, moan your name.
Get down on your hands and knees and remove your clothes. Immediately!
It may seem rude but coming from a Domme, this command is very sexy. This will make your man go commando without a flicker of thought. Being vocal should be one of a dominant woman’s strongholds.
Do you have a choice tonight: anal or oral? Make an informed decision.
How often do you give your sub the chance to decide what he wants? Give him this gift every once in a while when he makes you happy or shows improvement. However, be specific within the limits that he is allowed to go and make sure to make the experience worthwhile. As they say, It is the small moments that matter most.
Take your clothes off and shut the fuck up
Take control of your sub by telling him what to do. This can be an absolute favorite for women whose subs love talking. A shut-up call will always remind him of who is in charge.
Tonight is all about making you cry with pleasure.
How about you send him that sexy message that makes his manhood hard? Being a dominatrix gives you the ultimate power to control how your man feels and brightening up his day. You can as well include a picture of his favorite toy while sending the text.
I’m going to watch you jerk yourself off tonight
What is sexier than watching your slave jerk off in your presence? Now how about if he is jerking off because of how turned on he is by your glorious presence? You can even ask him to moan your name as he reaches climax to make the whole experience personal.
I want you to say my name when you cum
The advantage of being a dominatrix is being able to ask for slutty things from your sub. If your slave loves hearing you talk dirty, he will appreciate every part of this order. He will even go a step further to ensure that he screams your name in pleasure.
It thrills me so much to hear you groan with pleasure
Do you love it when your sub groans with pleasure? How about you tell him about it. Let him know what you like and don’t, you will be surprised by the effect that such a small compliment will have on him. Men too love being complimented.
Lastly
Men are different and can be turned on by completely different techniques. It might be via touch, sexting, dirty talks, or impact. Getting to know the best technique and how to use it on your partner is vital to the growth of your relationship. Always remember that no one is a pro, it all requires practice and consistency.
6 deeply intense Bondage positions for your next BDSM Play
People are embracing their kinky desires, and if you’ve arrived here, you’re either a novice or an expert wanting to spice things up or tone things down a bit. These severe bondage postures will be ideal for your knucklehead lifestyle and will make your sexual experience worth it.
Spread Eagle
Spread Eagle is a fantastic BDSM sex position since it’s simple to learn and maintain. To knot a Spread Eagle, you don’t need to be extremely flexible, and you don’t need any special abilities if you’re performing the tying.
Spread Eagle is great because it exposes the genitals to penetration or stimulation (think vibrator or even flogger). It also makes the breasts visible and worrisome.
How do you do it? Using bed restraints, start by tightly strapping each ankle with the cuff and ensuring it is tightly held by the bed. Tie the wrists using the wrist straps and ensure they are tightly held. You can adjust to suit your preference. Remember, the submissive should be lying with her body facing upwards. Have fun!
Here is a guide video on how to do it; https://youtu.be/gRCiZWBNlPQ
Hog Tie
Usually discouraged for beginners due to its complex nature and the high risks involved, hogtie is an amazing bondage position when done right. Instead of doing the regular arm and ankle ties, make use of a harness to help reduce the harm that might be caused to the muscles or tendons.
How do you do it? With the submissive lying on their back, tie a rope around their chest to form a harness. This is what will be used to hold the rest of the ropes. Starting with the arms, tie them in a secure position but not extremely tight and connect them to the harness. Go ahead and form a nice knot tie around the ankles as well with the legs bending backward and tie that rope to the harness too. Ensure that the ties are not extremely tight as this may hurt the submissive and stop the blood flow to their organs.
Here’s is a detailed video showing you how to correctly do it; https://youtu.be/bmRlfFs3oYE
Eiffel Tower
This position is the perfect try for beginners. Getting its name from its similarity to the Eiffel tower, the submissive imitates the design using cuffs or any other restrains.
Best done when lying down, the submissive hands are tied together then joined onto a post or bed for restraining. The submissive then spread their legs apart and each ankle is restrained onto a bed using cuffs. This is one of the easiest and fastest positions to try out when you are in a hurry or just starting.
Cocoon Tie
This type of bondage position is easy to do but requires a lot of time. It aims at mimicking a cocoon and prevents the submissive from movement. It is advisably done while lying down to ensure comfort.
How do you do it? Using a plastic paper or blanket, wrap your submissive chest and the rest of the organs located below the chest. Using leather straps or soft ropes, restrain their ankles, knees, waist, and chest. Lastly, tie a harness and join the straps to the harness to prevent movement. Here is a guide video; https://youtu.be/QA-QykGNXPs
Lotus
Well known among Yoga enthusiasts, the Lotus position can also come in handy during bondage if you are willing to involve some ropes in the experience. This type of position demands flexibility and can be strenuous for people who are not physically fit
How to go about it; in a sitting position, cross over the legs and press them onto your hip bone. This will require two restraints either leather straps or ropes. Start by tying one of the restraints around your knees and tighten to discourage movement. Using the other restrain, tie it around your ankles and tighten it till the ability to move is disabled. Adjust to better suit comfort.
Below is a video on how to go about it; https://youtu.be/ZUnHToxJflQ
Frog Tie
Perfect for people who practice solo bondage, the frog tie is an easy bondage position that anyone can get themselves into. It allows access vaginal, clitoral, and penile stimulation.
How to do it; Let your partner kneel down and then comfortably sit on her legs. Using a rope, tie her ankle and her hips together on each leg. Make sure that the restraints are strongly held together and comfortable. https://youtu.be/X30kr6v6ibM
Bondage Positions
Bondage positions are a major solution to solving boring sex. If it is kinky, it should not be boring. The included intense bondage positions are suitable for beginners, experts, and solo bondage practices.
How to become Dominant in the bedroom even if you are nervous
Do you wish to become dominant in the bedroom but don’t know where to start? Does the cricket noises in your relationship demand some spice? If yes, this article is meant for you and a million others. There is nothing wrong with a craving to be dominant, women are embracing their controlling selves more and it is the high time you accept your kinky side.
Dominance is all about time and all expert dominatrices can confirm that they didn’t learn all about it in a day. It takes a lot of research, some failures but most of all, you get to experience with every new kinky style you try.
How do you become more dominant?
Now that you are sure that you want to try female domination and have probably tried it a couple of times, how do you become more dominant?
Try Initiating
Men love when a women take a lead. They want to feel wanted and it turns them on. Kiss him from the back unexpectedly or even unbuckle his belt to show him that you want him. Take the first step instead of always waiting for him to do it. Take charge and be unapologetic about it.
Communicate with him
Are you tired of the normal, daily three routine and want to switch it up? Talk to your man about it and give him a few ideas about what you should try. Be vocal in what you want and what you wish to add to your to-do list. Talk to your sub and get to know his fantasies. Instead of shutting him down, consider them or even try them out.
Keep on Going
Now that you have established what you want and have gained enough courage to initiate encounters, move to the next step. Dominance is about giving your man roles which he fulfills without fail. Always start slow and observe his reactions to different things. Ask him to make a cup of coffee for you, carry you to bed or massage your legs. These small and harmless chores will help you regulate how far you can take the dominance experience. Does he love it or not? What facial expression does he make? All these are important factors to take into consideration.
Discover Your Domination Flavor
Domination comes in four categories. It is up to you to decide whether you want to be dominant only when it comes to bedroom affairs or 24/7. Domination can be fulfilling when done right and setting standards is a major thing. People always confuse dominance with being rude however, dominance can be carried out lovingly. Instead of punishments, switch up with rewards whenever your man pleases you and always compliment him.
Planning A scene
In BDSM, a scene refers to Playtime. This is a vital step in any kinky relationship. This is where a Safeword comes into play and in case you are yet to set any, Take time to set one.
You need to be completely clear with what you are fine trying and what you are not. Sex toys can come in handy here but do not overdo them. Pick out a few restrains or cuffs. With each scene, pick out different toys which you both are comfortable trying out.
Choose a dominant name and a subs name. The dominant name is what your sub will use while addressing you. It should showcase strength and respect, the sub’s nickname on the other hand should be humiliating and degrading.
Know the Risks and Stay Safe
If you are completely new at this, pre-research on the kinky activities that you will get involved in. This will help you to prepare in case of any emergencies.
Before using sex toys, ensure that you know how to correctly operate them, what they are made of, and the possible dangers. Lastly, stay away from indulging in drugs before or during Playtime.
Aftercare.
This is one of the most important yet neglected kinky sex steps. Men are human and they too can develop sub-drop leading to self-harm or depression. After the playtime, take time to talk, hold or even watch a movie with your sub. This should mostly be done after intense sections. You can even have coffee together.
Kinky sex ideas: 7 Freaky tips to spice up sex
If you are here, there is a high chance that your sex life is bland but you are willing to make it better. I was once there too and it felt bad watching my vanilla relationship go down the drain. I had invested so much time, emotions and had high hopes for my relationship. Today I will help you put all the pain and stress away by giving you a few tips that took my relationship from a Five to a ninety fast.
Top Tips to spice up your sex life
Excellent communication is essential
The keyword here is excellent communication. Not your usual “Hey” and chat about your long boring day. No one wants to listen to you venting about the same things daily. How about you leave work talk back at the office and instead, communicate on how you can improve your relationship.
Take a bath together, listen to some soothing music, get a little kinky, and even share a few fantasies over a drink. Build a friendship first and be the peace that you both need. Nothing is better than coming home to a relaxing environment where you can forget about the day’s stress.
It’s All Right If Some Things Feel “Meh.”
By now you have probably come across multiple kinky ideas and toys which you would love to try out. The only problem is that your partner may not be as open-minded as you are or vice versa.
It’s alright if your partner doesn’t want to use a whip on you. It all takes time and in the future, he may end up loving using it.
Start Slow
Introducing new items to your daily routine may be stressful to the relationship. Start slow and begin with the least complicated kinky style. Changing a vanilla relationship into a kinky one doesn’t take a week, it takes months of experimenting and research.
Try using your hand as a restrain for a start then advance to using a satin scarf and finally invest in some cuffs. This ensures that the change isn’t instant and gives both of you time to adjust to the new routine.
Blindfolds
By now you must have tried using blindfolds during sex and you are tempted to skip this tip but since you are here, there must be something wrong. Blindfolds are amazing for beginner kinky sex, affordable, and easily accessible but how can you spice it up?
Use cold and hot items to your advantage. Blindfolds mean that your partner has no sense of sight. Use some ice cubes on him to tease him or some ice cream and slowly lick it off his back. If you opt for heat, invest in some low-temperature candles to avoid burning your partner.
Restrains
When it comes to kinky sex, restraints have nearly endless options. Here are a few of my favorite ways to liven things up using restrictions.
Pin him up on the bed using your hands. Men are strong creatures but nothing is easier than pinning them down on the bed. They love it when their woman takes control. They love being wanted and being claimed. Pin him down and work your body on him. Make him feel powerless but sexually awoke.
Use bed restrains. This might be a bit expensive but will be worth every coin. Restrains give you access to your man’s body making him motionless. Take advantage of this and give him some toe-curling orgasms.
Spanking
What if he doesn’t like it? Well, it depends on how you do it but it is worth trying. Spank your man’s bum as he is riding you and see how he reacts to it. You can also try using a paddle just to spice things a little.
Make Oral Sex Insanely Knuckle-Breaking
Oral sex is a must if you are willing to save your relationship. How good are your blow job skills? Has anyone complimented them? If not, do not worry, it all starts with a single step. Blowjobs are a no-teeth affair which means that the last thing needed is using your teeth on your man’s dick. Practice using a banana and make sure you perfect the act first.
Oral sex is an art that you learn with time, deep throating is the hardest but once you master the right position you will easily pull anything off.
Finally
Kinky sex keeps revolving and you will need to keep on exploring and becoming a better version of yourself. Switch things up every once in a while to make your sex life interesting. Lastly never forget that communication is vital.
9 Intense Orgasm denial Games for testing your limits and driving you wild
You might be perplexed as to why someone would deny themselves an orgasm. I had the same question until I tried it and discovered that it was the best thing that could have happened to me. Orgasm denial should be at the top of every reader’s list by now, thanks to its numerous advantages. The nicest part is how fantastic the sex will be after everything! So, what are some examples of orgasm denial games you may play?
What is Orgasm Denial?
Orgasm denial involves the act of restraining yourself from experiencing an orgasm either for a set time limit or during a given task. Orgasm denial can either be practiced by couples or be a solo job. Orgasm denial ensures that you have complete control over your body and thoughts and also gives you amazing and long-lasting orgasms later on. There are three categories;
Complete denial; in this case, you are completely denied access to any orgasms or activities which initiate orgasms.
Tease and Denial; Perfect for D/S couples. You only get orgasms whenever your dominant partner allows you to.
Ruined Orgasm; something is done to halt or make orgasm less pleasant when it is about to happen.
Examples of orgasm denial games;
Code Word
One person is not permitted to orgasm until the other gives the command, which might be a secret phrase. It’s also entertaining to tell someone not to come while you’re tormenting them! This is mostly done while teasing your partner and demands a lot of control from the submissive.
Levels
This is done by setting levels that one has to complete before being allowed to orgasm. The levels can range from 5, 10, and 12 but should at the same time be sensible. Once the partner reaches the set limit, they are awarded an orgasm which in the long run is always worth the long torturous wait.
Schedule
Perfect for long-distance partners, this game revolves around a set time date whereby you are not allowed to orgasm till the set date. This is great to see how long you both can control yourselves while away from each other.
Points system
The game uses orgasm as a reward for work well done. In the points system, a list containing different tasks is created with set marks to be awarded. Once the task gets completed, you can be rewarded with an orgasm. The tasks can range from daily chores to meetings to sexual activities. Just making it as fun as possible. This changes after every 24 hours and should therefore contain achievable goals.
Homework
How about you go back to the good old days when letter writing was a thing? In this game, erotic play is given after you complete a given letter or essay usually with a set amount of words. The said letter should be as romantic as possible and should be able to turn your partner on without physical interaction.
Tit for Tat
Does your partner only focus on his pleasures? If yes, this is the perfect game for you. The game only allows your partner to get an orgasm once the latter is fully pleased. This game builds connection and ensures everyone is fully pleasured.
Desperate times
Requires soft bondage restraints. In this game, your partner is only allowed to orgasm after he has fully pleasured his partner. The main goal with this is to make him work hard for the reward. His hands are tied behind him and he is only allowed to pleasure you without using his hands.
Green-light, red light
Just like the traffic lights, the red lights permit you to pleasure yourself. The green light on the other hand means that you have to stop what you are doing. This game can be played solo or with your partner. Just remember to follow the rules if you are alone.
Timer
This is meant to limit the time you spend pleasuring yourself or your partner. Once the alarm goes off, it signals that you have to put a halt to erotic play. This game however demands a lot of self-control for a successful session.
Finally
The idea of Orgasm denial may not sound inviting but it is worth a try. With the above-suggested denial games, you can be sure to love every step of it. To spice things up you can incorporate sex toys into the mix and go all wild. Have fun exploring your sexuality or better yet, get to bond with your partner over these amazing games.
8 Ultra intense ways to satisfy a foot fetish
Foot fetish is one of the most famous fetishes in the world. Also known as a paraphilia, foot fetish involves a form of liking towards feet or feet wear. People can either opt to hold the feet and caress them or even lick them. Fetishes are what make the kinky world fun and interesting and foot fetish is topping the list. From tiny feet to perfectly manicured ones and stinking and dirty feet, different preferences are depending on people.
How common is a foot fetish?
According to one survey, the most prevalent obsession for a body part is a foot fetish, which is more than five times more common than the next most popular fetish. Socks and shoes, which are connected with the feet, were shown to be among the most commonly fetishized things in the same study. Foot fetish is one of the most common body part fetishes, according to another source.
Over time, people are embracing the idea of foot fetish and more feet are featured on fetish magazines. People are even making a decent income by selling their feet pictures on the internet.
How do you satisfy a foot fetish?
The giant question in the house is how to satisfy a foot fetish. Whether it is your fetish or your partner’s there are a few tips that will help you out;
Foot Massage
A sensual and soothing foot massage is one of the easiest ways to satisfy a foot fetish. It is advised for newbies, to begin with, a massage. Some soothing music, a serene environment, and a nice foot massage can easily turn you on without much effort needed. The human foot has multiple nerve endings on the feet which makes them highly sensitive to touch.
Tickling
Considering that feet are highly sensitive, tickling is another way to satisfy a foot fetish. Make use of a soft feather or soft brush to do the trick. Gently run the item against the sole and gently blow against the feet.
Foot Job
If you are feeling adventurous, a foot job will help you reach satisfaction. Whether self-done by kneeling and using your feet to stimulate your vulva or using your partner s feet, it all results in maximum pleasure. You can even get a little extra and give your man a feet job using some lube and your feet on his manhood.
Oral Attention
Then there’s foot kissing and sucking, particularly with toes. You should probably clean your tootsies before allowing your lover to do this, but many people enjoy how sensual it feels. This is particularly true for women who lack the necessary penile apparatus to receive a blowjob.
Pedicure
One method to indulge in a foot fetish is to partake in things like a pedicure. A good Pedi rewards you with lovely toenail polish and visually appealing feet, which might be a good start to additional fetishistic pleasures!
Start with warm water soak up before proceeding to scrub your feet. You can use a scented scrub to make your feet more attractive and clean-smelling. Apply your man’s favorite nail polish color to make the experience personal.
Sexy Footwear
Let’s make your feet sexy by putting on some sexy footwear. It doesn’t matter whether it’s your red stilettos or your rabbit socks or your ankle-length stockings. You know what turns your partner on and that’s what you need to take advantage of.
Some people are a little different and get horny from seeing sweaty feet or smelly feet. Whatever the fetish is, feel free to make the most out of it.
Erotic Media
The erotic industry has managed to embrace every type of fetish making it easy to satisfy your need. You can either opt to watch a cam girl on an erotic feet scene or even pay one to make one specifically made for you.
If your man enjoys this type of erotic media, how about you go ahead and make a sexy video for him. You can even send it to him during his lunch break to brighten up his dull day.
Masturbation
For people who have an incredible attraction towards feet and feet wear, masturbation can come in handy. You can download pictures and videos from the web and watch them as you masturbate. You can even ask your girlfriend for a video if using a stranger’s video is uncomfortable for you.
Foot Fetish is Normal
Finally, Feet fetish is completely normal. You should understand how important your needs are and embrace them without fear. Satisfaction is a personal goal which is why we have included a couple of ways in which you can satisfy yourself. However, do not feel restricted to these methods, explore new satisfactions and keep on learning new techniques.
Powerful masturbation techniques for extreme orgasms
Working out is great and so is chilling and sipping a cup of tea however, enjoying some alone time and pleasuring yourself is always underrated. When last did you touch yourself? Allow yourself to understand how your body feels?
Masturbation is not only a stress reliever but a calming activity too. It helps you release a lot of unnecessary built-up feelings while at the same time giving you the chance to discover yourself. Some of the best orgasms can only be gifted to you by touching yourself
Types of Masturbation
Masturbation is a great reliever and there are different types involving different organs.
Clitoral-When it comes to playing with your clitoris, most individuals use their fingers, but vibrators and other devices may also be fun. You’ll experience a tingling feeling along your skin and in your head as you orgasm.
Anal-Anal play can be done with your fingers or a sex item (although for deeper penetration a toy is best suited). You may have an urgent need to urinate right before you orgasm, but the contractions are confined around your anal sphincter.
Vaginal-During solitary play, you can probe your vagina with your fingers or a sex toy. Your vaginal walls will quiver and the “Big O” will be felt deeper in your body.
Combo- This is purely a matter of personal choice. You can play with your vagina and clitoris with both hands, or a sex toy and your fingers. When you stimulate your clitoris and vaginal — particularly the G-spot — at the same time, you’ll have a powerful orgasm that may cause convulsions or even ejaculation.
Masturbation Techniques
The following techniques are specially sorted out to give you toe-curling orgasms and loads of pleasure as you finger yourself;
Up and Down technique
This technique focuses on your clit and involves an up and down movement on it. You can try longer stokes, faster strokes, or even rubbing directly above your clit just to see which method delivers maximum stimulation. This type of technique can come in handy when giving a blowjob just to ensure that you both enjoy the experience to a maximum.
The Long Slow Stroke
This technique mainly focuses on your vaginal area. Using two or more fingers, stroke your vaginal region and often switch directions just to know what works best for you. It is advisable to do this in a quiet serene environment which will allow you to relax and listen to your body’s reactions. Try slow or fast strokes, applying a little pleasure just to see what best works.
Side to Side
Just as the name suggests, this technique involves sideways movement on the clitoris. This technique is perfect for delivering maximum pleasure if done correctly. Just like the previous methods, it all requires a lot of research. Try using different speeds, different numbers of fingers, change the pressure applied. Try rubbing it softly then change to intense contact. Focus on finding what works best for you.
Four fingers Technique
This is by far the most commonly used technique which is also famous for being ineffective. It requires the use of all your four fingers which you then use to rub your clit either in a circular motion or up and down. This technique has however proven to work for several women which makes it worth the try.
U-spot
Not one of the most famous spots during masturbation, the u-spot can deliver multiple orgasms and pleasure. The U spot is the area located between and around your urethra stretching to the clitoris. Stimulation in this area is done using one finger which gently rubs on the U Spot. It is however advisable to use lube in cases where one is not already wet.
Love the Shower Head
Have you tried masturbating in the shower? If not, it is the high time you try it. You can either use a showerhead or a tap where you can run water over your clit. This delivers high levels of stimulation leading to toe-curling orgasms. Using a showerhead, directly spray the water under full pleasure on your clit. It is best when done using warm water. You can change directions too for maximum pleasure.
Lastly
Orgasms are a personal job and you should not have excuses for starving yourself from getting orgasms. Yes, the man should help once in a while but personal pleasure is highly important. With the stated powerful masturbation techniques, you can now give yourself full, long, and back arching orgasms at the comfort of your home.
6 wild BDSM games for keeping things hot
BDSM games are great for building a greater connection with your partner, Blowing off steam, and relaxing after a long day. Whether you are highly skilled in the kinky lifestyle or just a beginner, games will always be on your routine. BDSM can easily take your relationship from a bland “1” to a “10” if done right. Here are a few games that you and your partner can try out and spice things up;
BDSM games to spice things up
Toys that can be controlled with a remote
Remote toys have completely changed the kinky experience. The best thing about it all is the ability to control your partner’s pleasure without having to use your hands. You can play around with different intensities, speeds and watch your partner’s reactions.
Ranging from vibrators to Panties, you can dare each other to maintain a straight face and whoever loses gets to complete a chosen task. This should be interesting enough to watch your partner strain to hide their feelings as you mess around with different settings.
Ice Baby
Ice is one of the most underrated things whose potential is great. If you are yet to bring it to your bedroom, it is the high time you do that. Ice can be used for different reasons but first of all, invest in a blindfold or a satin scarf. This will make the experience mind-blowing.
Make an Ice dildo and use it on your woman. This is however restricted to use on the clit and vagina areas only. Put water in a condom before storing it in the freezer to solidify. This gives an amazing but shocking effect when used to tease your woman and she will love it.
Store your glass sex toys in the fridge to make them cold. You can also store them in water overnight to get the cooling effect on them. Use this to run over her skin or penetration.
Polling Punishment
This is a perfect game for couples who love impact play. You are each given tasks to complete and the number of strokes to be received in case of failure. Your partner then has to count the number of strokes as he receives and be accurate. In case of failure, you have to start the entire flogging process afresh. This can be a major turn-on for kinky couples.
Task-Oriented
This game is fully based on rewards and punishments. Certain tasks are set a time limit is given to complete the task. If completed on time, your partner receives a reward. If not, they receive punishment such as an orgasm denial.
You can give an order to go commando and make you some coffee within five minutes. The timer is then set within which the task has to be completed. The time given should however be sensible.
Card Playing
Yes, card playing is a thing in the kinky world but scratch the thought of your usual diamonds and spades. Today we are talking about kinky cards which contain rewards and punishments. The submissive is given a task to complete by the dominant and if they fail, a card bearing your punishment is drawn from the stack. This builds up curiosity and anticipation due to uncertainty.
Ask the submissive to fetch your phone on their fours within five minutes and make the game interesting. This game is perfect for D/S couples who want to spice up their relationship.
Stranger Role Play
Do you recall the first time you met? How amazing it was and how fragile you felt? How about you both get creative and re-play your first meet-up. This time around you have the power to control the day’s ordains. Dress up and pretend to seduce your man at the club. Let him play hard to get just to make things interesting.
You can also opt to incorporate role-play. Choose different roles and recreate the scene making it as sexual as possible. You can even be the sexy and slutty student who seduces her teacher or a policewoman. Let your imagination run wild and have fun playing different scenes.
It’s all about you
Keeping things hot and interesting in the bedroom all depends on how far you are willing to go. Go wild, explore and research. Take turns trying new things out on each other and embrace what works in your relationship. BDSM games are perfect for spicing things up but so are sex toys and new sex positions. Avoid restricting yourself to one activity but instead, switch things up as often as need be.
Dumb and dangerous mistakes that turn your Dom off and how to avoid them
Today it is all about working on those dumb mistakes which you make and turning into a woman who your man will never leave or cheat on. Our talk is based on rejuvenation and growth, it will be based on the facts that are true yet so hard to admit. It is all about growth and saving those relationships. So, what are some of those mistakes that you make which are a major turn off and how do you rectify them?
Mistakes that turn off your man
Starfish Syndrome
Why would you think that lying motionless during sex is sexy? Is it that bad? If it is, it is high time that you have a serious talk with your partner. Men love being encouraged during intercourse and they want to know that pleasure is a two-way thing.
Grab his back, Moan in Pleasure, call his name or even pull his hair. Let him know how much you are enjoying. There is no need to be embarrassed because he is your man and he deserves it all. Spank his bum as he thrusts into you, make it interesting and fun.
Be Vocal
This is all about bedroom matters, not communal interests. It is extremely surprising how some women are quick to call out their men on bad things and scold them. How about you embrace the same energy when telling him how good he was in bed? Tell him what you enjoyed most.
Men are human and they love having their ego stroked and what better way? Appreciating your man will make him feel the pressure to improve his performance. He will want to be better just for you and you will have all the fruits to reap. Thanks to you, your man’s self-esteem will be well maintained.
You’re Not Getting Your Big ‘O’
It is not new to hear a woman claim that she has been in a relationship for 3 years and never experienced an orgasm. Orgasms are vital for any relationship’s well-being. Here are a couple of things that you can try to get your big “O”;
Stress and anxiety. This might be one of the reasons why you are not getting orgasms. You need clear and collected thoughts for this. You need to be fully relaxed and in the moment. Try taking a warm shower or listening to soothing music before sex. This will help you get in the mood and prepare you mentally.
Understand Yourself. What works best for your friend might not work for you. Take time to understand your body and what works best for it. There are dozen-plus sex positions to try, multiple types of orgasms to experiment on.
Come First. Most women put their men’s needs before theirs and that is where they go wrong. Cumming is brain-controlled but orgasms in women are a personal effort. Tell your man how to touch you, how to thrust, in short, take charge.
You’re removing sexual tension from the equation
The first days are always exciting and full of sparks. As time passes by and you learn about each other, you slowly embrace a boring routine that makes everything bland. The sex no longer becomes interesting, flirting changes to work talks and your relationship goes down the drain.
Keeping the relationship interesting will always maintain the tension. Go on random dates, try new sex positions, invite new couples, and try to role-play. There is a load of things to keep your relationship spiced up.
No blow jobs or hand jobs
Men love being worshipped and what better way than giving him a mind-blowing blow job? Get on your knees and work that mouth like never before. In cases where his pot isn’t fresh smelling, seduce him into joining you for a shower. Don’t be shy to add lube into the mix when giving a hand job just to maintain that moist and slimy environment.
Go all in and explore his balls gently as you listen to the change in his breathing or moans. Try gently licking the area between his balls and anus and watch how his toes curl. This is by far one of the most sensitive parts of a man’s body. Trace your tongue on the tip of his penis and the bottom of the tip which is extremely sensitive.
Finally
Dumb and dangerous mistakes can be changed and there is no need to be vanilla in the bedroom. Get kinky and take control. Let your man sit back and enjoy the experience. Save your relationship and make sure that you are the only person in his mind.
9 Orgasm Techniques to make Your Woman insanely addicted to you
It is every woman’s dream to experience orgasms every time she gets sexually dominated. Before learning how to give her back arching orgasms, it is important to first understand her sexual organs. This is vital if you want to give her those amazing orgasms.
Women can experience different types of orgasms ranging from clitoral, vaginal to the G spot. The G spot is located between the vagina and the A-spot. The G-spot and A-spot orgasms are the most difficult to achieve this rare. Some women do not get to experience this in their entire lifetime.
Techniques for mind-blowing orgasms
The Grind
This technique stimulates both the vagina and the clitoris. If done right it can result in amazing vaginal and clitoral orgasms. The man needs to press his body as close to the clit as possible. The penis should remain as deep as possible inside the vagina during the entire process. The technique requires the man to move against the clit in an up and down movement. This helps stimulate the clit providing clitoral pleasure. You can spice it up by trying circular and side by side grinds.
The Vulcan
This technique only works for a few sex positions. You can try it when using cowgirl or missionary styles. Shape your hand into a V and during penetration, place your dick between the V-shape. Let the backside of your palm rest on her clit and slowly apply pressure.
You can use your hand to rub onto her clit as you thrust into her. This technique provides pressure to both partners and just as the previous technique, focuses on vaginal and clitoral orgasms.
Hitting her G-Spot
A G-spot orgasm is rare and requires maximum concentration from both parties. If you have a long penis, you do not have to thrust so deep. The G-Spot is located a few inches from the vagina and thus demands more thrusting. If you have a small size, feel free to make use of your fingers.
This type of stimulation fully depends on the angle of penetration. Whichever the angle, make use of slow and shallow thrusts. You can increase the pace according to her breathing and do not stop till she gets to the point of no return.
Her A-Spot
Also known as the Deep spot, the A-spot is located deep inside the vagina. This required deep penetration for an orgasm to be achieved. An A-spot orgasm releases intense emotions and can at times last for as long as a minute.
Placing her legs on your shoulder while thrusting can aid in this type of orgasm. It however requires a long penis to reach the A-Spot.
Shower Heads
Showerheads are an amazing technique for clitoral stimulation. Using intense pressure, run the water from the showerhead up and down the clitoral area. Change the direction and intensity every once in a while. This technique not only delivers maximum pleasure but also prevents urinary tract infections.
Edging
Edging is a technique that requires you to have a good understanding of your woman. It involves orgasm denial to build up into a more powerful and intense orgasm. The man brings the lady close to orgasm and holds back to prevent it. He does this several times before finally allowing her to orgasm. This technique can be insanely satisfying if done right.
Using a vibrator on her clit
A vibrator is an easy technique for mind-blowing orgasms. Let your woman lay down and relax. Using the vibrator, play with her clit often changing the intensity settings. You can also change the motion of the strokes into circular or side-to-side movements.
Use a vibrator for amazing sex
Vibrators are great since they are multifunctional. In this technique, we will use it as a stimulant during sex. Instead of using your fingers to massage her clit, use a vibrator. Adjust the intensity to rhyme with your strokes. This is ideal for providing clitoral, g-spot, and a-spot orgasms.
Make use of Lube
Lube is one of the underrated sex necessities. It reduces friction preventing tearing and at the same time makes sex fun. Lubes come in different flavors and sizes. For long sexual sessions, lube would be great to keep your woman wet. They can also come in handy when using sex toys. Put some lube on the dildo before using it on your girl to achieve maximum pleasure.
Finally
Orgasm techniques will help you give toe-curling orgasms but do not forget to work on your emotional connection. Sex is amazing in cases where the feeling is mutual. You should also invest in learning about foreplay and incorporate it into the mix.
BDSM: How to Get Your Boyfriend to be more dominant
Men are naturally born to be dominant but society’s upbringing might hinder them from getting to the dominant level that women crave. Society teaches them to be respectful towards women, be kind and take care of them. It discourages any form of impact which most men interpret as not using any form of force on their women.
If you are here, you are probably tired of being in a vanilla relationship and need your boyfriend to be more dominant in the bedroom. You are at the right place, buckle up and pick a notebook.
Act Submissive
We are talking about letting your man do the strength chores in the house. Let him open that paste jar for you, fix the broken bulb. The secret to this is making him feel masculine and in control.
Give your man the opportunity to be the Alpha. There is a high chance that the reason why he isn’t entirely dominant is that you always take the lead. Embrace asking his opinions before making decisions that have major impacts on both of you. This will help mend his self-esteem.
Encourage him to Take Charge
This simply means that you should never diminish him in public. Make him feel that he is in charge despite his poor decision-making. Tell him about the little milestones that you appreciate from him.
If he grabs your ass while kissing you, tell him how nice it feels and encourage him to do it often. It is the small steps that will change him into alpha and you will have to be patient. After all, you will have nothing to lose and a lot to gain if it works outright.
A suggestion of the desire to be dominated during sex
Your man might not be aware of your desire to be dominated. If you are not a vocal person, you can opt for non-vocal ways to suggest submission. Instead of giving him a normal blowjob, get on your knees and have him from there. Make sure to maintain eye contact.
Videos are another trick that you can easily pull. Watch BDSM videos with your partner and comment on things that you would love to try out. This will give him a hint about what he needs to do. You can go ahead and ask him his view on the acts.
Talk Dirty
It doesn’t matter whether it is via text or on a one-on-one basis just do it. Tell him what you would love to be done tonight. Ask him to grab your ass, spank you hard, and bite your neck.
Sexting will always work if you are a shy person. It is an easy way to express yourself without the worry of being judged. Always make a point of dressing up for your man and don’t forget to make it as sexy as possible.
Assure him that you WANT him to take the lead
The way your man was raised could impact the way he treats you. If he was taught that he should never hit a woman, spanking you might be out of his comfort zone.
Talk with him and assure him that you are fine with having pain inflicted on you. This might help him break his barriers and transform into the dominant man who you crave for. Start with small steps may be a minor spank or dirty talk and then advance from there.
Incorporate Sex toys
Have you considered that the reason why your relationship is so vanilla is that you are both boring? Sex can be great at the start of a relationship but with growth and time, it stops being fascinating. This calls for the need to spice things up and bring back the original spark between both of you.
Invest in some BDSM sex toys which suggest your need for submission. Get some satin scarfs, Cuffs, bed restraints, or a paddle and inform your man of your desire to have them used on you.
In conclusion
Getting your boyfriend to be dominant starts with you. You need to be submissive towards him and respectful. Avoid making him feel vulnerable or messing with his self-esteem.
Encourage him to take charge and make sure to inform him that you are fine with submitting to him. Make him comfortable with using kinky items on you and be patient if he is not completely comfortable. Try and change his beliefs to embrace the BDSM experience.
BDSM Switch: How to be the Perfect Dominant and Submissive Switch
“Are you a top or bottom?” These are some of the familiar questions you will get asked during kinky meet-ups. What if you are both? How do you explain that? In the kinky world, there is someone who both enjoys being a top and a bottom too. It is normal and not as complicated as people make it sound.
Who is a Switch?
A switch is a person who enjoys being in control while other times they switch up and become submissive. They do not have an issue with giving out orders but neither are they against going down on their knees and worshipping a Dom.
This type of arrangement is common in D/S relationships where partners love switching up roles. The submissive can be humiliated during a scene and on the following day, take charge as the dominant and give commands.
Tops, Bottoms, and Switches: What’s the Difference?
Bottom; A bottom in a play is the one who relinquishes control or gets the physical feeling from a top.
Top; during a scene or performance, the top is the one in charge. A Dominant may or may not be a top.
Switch; A switch is a person who, depending on the partner they’re with or their mood, may feel dominant/sadistic or submissive/masochistic. They might be a top or a bottom player. They may not feel dominant or submissive in any way.
Is identity or situation important?
Some BDSM practitioners believe that their personality depends on whether they are dominant or submissive. Alternatively, you may believe that the person and the circumstance are more essential.
Parts of the BDSM society romanticize the concept of power transfers in relationships. This indicates that one person is in charge at all times, while the other is not. Dominance and submissiveness, on the other hand, can be beneficial. The notion of power is handed around, and it decides who plays what role.
How to be the perfect switch
Keep in mind that you already have a good idea of what you’re doing
If you are used to being the submissive take into account what you have always wanted from your submissive. Put that into practice and use it on your dominant partner. This can be an easy way to teach them how you want them to behave after the switch. Be humble, do not complain, and embrace the process.
Enjoy the new feelings
Switching your usual role builds sexual tension. This is amazing when it comes to spicing up the relationship. Enjoy the new process while it lasts. Experiment with all the various things that you have always fantasized about. Let your Domme flog you, let them use cocoon bondage on you, and use you as a dinner table. The tension fades with time and things that you at first found extremely exciting become bland.
Be open and honest about your dualities
If you want to achieve mirror flexibility with a partner in your scenes, being open about your desire to flip sides and experience both roles from your beloved will give the greatest outcomes.
There’s no need to pretend to be someone you’re not in your profile or real life. Say so, and tell them what you want and need if a specific partner makes you want to lick their boots rather than perform the flogging. Iterating that in your online dating profile can help you discover someone to show you the ropes if you have a sudden desire to test the other side and are seeking someone to show you the ropes.
Recognize that your new desire to sub may be a temporary phase or a long-term commitment
Your desire may be just temporary or permanent. Take time to understand your needs and make sound decisions. Do not commit to a switch relationship when you are not completely sure about your decision.
Take time to meditate, relax by going on a vacation, or even take a break from stressful work. Ensure that your decisions are made with a clear mind and consciousness. Hormonal changes, pleasant or painful events, and relationships might cause a shift in our desires.
Locate suitable kink communities and partners
Not everyone is characterized by their sexual quirks, and not everyone is defined by their experimentation. Unless they’re in a kinky relationship, many kinky people think in terms of roles and role-playing rather than committing to a single identity.
Although most kink and fetish communities are highly accommodating, varied, and open-minded, you’re undoubtedly aware that some submissive desire to always “have the spirit of a servant” and consider switching difficult or a betrayal.
Lastly
Being the perfect switch needs you to let free and live in the moment. Switch experts live an exciting, carefree life which contributes to their open-mind capabilities. It may be a temporary phase or permanent but it is still normal.
How to be a good Submissive in a BDSM Marriage
A submissive is a person who deliberately relinquishes power to another person, generally to satisfy a sexual need, according to BDSM. If you’re reading this, the idea of submitting to someone else has likely piqued your curiosity or perhaps set your sexual juices flowing.
Being a good submissive can be difficult mostly if you are used to vanilla relationships or better yet, being in control. Submissiveness can however build a great relationship whereby one partner becomes the Alpha and takes charge. In most cases, this is the man’s role but can be a dominant woman’s role too.
Is it natural to desire to be submissive or participate in BDSM?
Don’t worry, you aren’t strange. It’s the polar opposite. Sexual submission is, in reality, one of the most prevalent fantasies. According to the Kinsey Institute, 1.8 percent of sexually active persons (2.2 percent of males and 1.3 percent of women) reported engaging in BDSM in the preceding year.
The idea of being ordered around, spanked, and otherwise compelled into doing sexual activities may be exhilarating for many individuals. However, for those who haven’t done it yet, the question is where to begin. And what exactly do you need to know if you want to be submissive?
Here are 6 things you should know about being submissive
Educate Yourself
Being submissive is a major life-changing decision that should not be made overnight. Take some time off your daily routine and take a break. Do a lot of research on the matter on the web, using books, or even on media. This helps to prepare you psychologically for what you are walking into.
Ask yourself whether you are ready to give up total control and have someone take control. What type of submissive relationship do you want to be in? Will it be temporary or permanent?
Check to see whether you’re a true submissive
True submissive, unsurprisingly, have a natural affinity for submissive conduct. But how can you know if you’re truly a submissive?
True submissive have a desire to satisfy a much more dominating person, and the prospect of being humiliated or overwhelmed may even excite them. But don’t believe for a moment that all submissive cater to everyone’s desires daily. Some submissive are people in extremely strong positions who simply desire a break from their duties now and again.
On the other hand, if submitting to another person makes you uncomfortable, being submissive is probably not for you. You might instead consider being a dominating or perhaps a switch.
Decide on how much you’re willing to give up
Part-time submissive may assume the role of a submissive at specific moments, such as during intercourse or when attending a BDSM club. They’ll frequently spend money on clothes and other props, but they won’t allow their part to interfere with their personal life.
In the BDSM game, full-time submissive, on the other hand, are generally the most dedicated participants. These submissive may even want to live in a dominant/submissive relationship full-time. In most, if not all, areas of their existence, they will give complete authority to their dominance. Many of these connections are based on written contracts.
Know your limits
Do you want to hide in the corner if you think you’ll get flogged? Handcuffs and spreader bars make you uncomfortable? You’re likely to come across a few things that push your comfort bubble as you explore the realm of domination and submission. Remember that just because other people like something doesn’t mean you have to. Know your limitations and stick to them.
Communicate
Communication is vital in any relationship, but it is more critical in a dominant/submissive one. Now is not the time to be bashful; if you’re uncomfortable revealing your deepest sexual wants and turn-offs, it might jeopardize your safety as well as your enjoyment of your interactions.
Put safety first
To be honest, all BDSM action involves some level of danger or possible damage, whether you’re flogging someone or subjecting them to some other delectable torment. Before commencing any BDSM play, always take the time to learn how to handle any toys and props correctly and responsibly, and always create a safe word.
A submissive can say this simple word or phrase to delay or halt a scenario at any time.
Finally
If you are considering being a good submissive, you should first embrace the reality and then prepare for change. BDSM is a major life change that will be overwhelming at times but fun and worth it.
Tips to Build and Save Your Relationship if you are both Submissive
Many individuals like adding power dynamics into the bedroom, either as a submissive or as a dominating position, to enhance their enjoyment and explore new and unusual sexual fantasies. For submissive couples, it is different. However, one often has to step up to the plate and take the lead role. Here are a few pointers to get you started with power play if you want to attempt a submissive position in your sex life.
6 Submissive Techniques
Submissiveness includes a wide spectrum of sensations, and you and your partner can go down whatever path of pleasure you want. In the bedroom, D/s practitioners follow a few typical practices:
Spanking and impact play
Erotic spanking is a kind of impact play in which the dom spanks areas of the sub’s body with their hands, a whip, paddle, or crop for mutual sexual pleasure. You can use spanking as a kinky punishment during submission and domination play or as foreplay before sexual intercourse.
An erotic spanking can improve sexual enjoyment by increasing blood flow in the groin area and releasing pleasurable chemicals in the brain, such as endorphins and dopamine.
Outfits
D/s frequently includes specific costumes or attire that can be worn throughout a scenario. Subs, for example, may wear collars, leashes, or role-play-based costumes like maid clothes, while doms may wear clothing, suits, and boots or heels. Dressing up may help you and your spouse get into character and explore different aspects of yourselves.
Permission and punishment
Permission and punishment are two major conflicts that arise throughout most dominating and submissive sexual encounters. During this sort of session, the sub must obtain permission to engage in specific actions, like oral sex or orgasms, and if they do so in violation of the dom’s rules, they will be punished.
Consider having the dom put up a few seductive rules (for example, picking the sex positions or what you’re permitted to wear) and penalties when you first start playing D/s. Spanking, edging or chastity, and bondage are all common punishments.
Dirty talk
In a D/s relationship, using a certain language in the bedroom is an important element of submissive conduct. As a sub, you can address your partner using respectful pronouns to demonstrate control.
If you’re both fresh to D/s play and you see your partner is having trouble performing as a dom, deferentially make recommendations, like as what you’ll do for them or how they may punish you for poor behavior.
Bondage
During a sexual interaction, one party utilizes instruments to restrict the other partner (usually the sub). Rope, bondage tape, handcuffs, spreader bars, blindfolds, and chains are some of the most often used restraints. These restrictions are intended to limit the sub’s senses and freedom of movement to establish power in the hands of the dom.
Role-play
Roleplaying situations may assist kick start the action in a D/s scenario by providing easy roles for everyone to fill and allowing you to separate yourself from the situation if you’re nervous. Consider roleplaying settings that already have a power dynamic built-in, such as employer and employee or doctor and patient, if you’re just getting started.
Responsibilities of a Dominant?
Understand your partner’s limitations.
Before you begin engaging in healthy D/s play, you and your partner should agree on the activities you’re both comfortable doing. You, as the dom, are responsible for understanding and respecting these boundaries during an experience.
Learn how to use your tools.
You can utilize a variety of sex toys and accessories during a D/s encounter. Regardless of the sex toy you like, make sure you understand how each one works and what feelings they give; if you don’t, you risk injuring your partner by starting too strong with a device.
Make sure you have all of the necessary safety equipment.
Check-in with your companion.
Aftercare is key
Because many sexual activities can be physically or emotionally draining for both parties, both partners must practice appropriate aftercare afterward. Discussion, hugs, and cleaning up together are excellent methods for everyone to unwind and absorb the session.