Are you tired of those long boring sexual nights with your woman? Hate the cricket sounds in your relationship and want to spice it up or take it a notch higher? Is your woman bossing you around and you want to go back to being the Alpha male? If yes, then you are at the right place!
Being a newbie in the Submissive world, You most probably have already done some research on Bondage and are willing to introduce it into your relationship but the problem is how do you make your woman submissive and make her obey your orders?
BDSM; what does it mean?
This is the first question everyone asks themselves. The world of BDSM is wide, erotic, and exciting but as a newbie, it’s important to first get to know what it means before trying to make your woman submissive. BDSM represents Bondage, Discipline, Submission, and Sadism/Masochism (the foundation of kinky sex). The submissive often gets to set the boundaries i.e.; things he/she is not comfortable with while the Dominant person (which in this case is you) gets to enjoy having power over your submissive.
Is Sexual submission similar to being on Top?
90% of the people confuse sexual submission with being on the bottom during sex but are they the same? Being on the bottom means that you enjoy being on the lower side during sex thus doing less work whereas being submissive means giving up your powers and allowing your dominant other to take full control. This may involve hair-pulling, name-calling, biting, scratching, or spanking… the list goes on and on. According to Ashley Paige, a professional Dominatrix based in New York City, sexual submission is when there is an exchange of power in a consensual manner.
Is bondage wrong?
There are two types of bondage and it depends on how risky and kinky you are willing to take things. For newbies, it is advisable to start with soft bondage before advancing to the other stages of hard bondage. “Soft bondage gives the dominant person the ability to know what works/what doesn’t work for the submissive other,” Says Emma Banks a sexual Educator.
Soft bondage revolves mainly around giving power play and improving your sexual life. It revolves around simple erotic restrains and nothing crazy or overly skillful is required. You just need to be open-minded and be free to explore a new side of kinky ways. This includes bed restrains, spanking, using feathers to tease your sub, blindfolds and the little list of heavenly goodness is endless. Below is a product that I have used, works perfectly and I would highly recommend
Hard Bondage is more on the crazier side and revolves around pain, rough and kinky sex. This is perfect for people who find pleasure in pain and being handled roughly. It mainly involves extreme pain, pleasure, and rough sex.
Back to our question, is bondage wrong? If you have ever tried this new kinky sexual exploration you would know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with bondage, as long as you don’t hurt your submissive other. In the Bondage rule of Alphabets, Aftercare is the first and it simply states that “Being a good Dominatrix means making sure there is ice or a first aid kit around just in case your Sub gets hurt or bruised.”
People are into it for different reasons
“While decision-reprieve is certainly one reason some folks enjoy being submissive, it’s far from the only reason,” explains Lola Jean, a Dominatrix, and Sex educator.
For a bossy person, giving up power for a few hours may feel rejuvenating and she gets to be on the receiving end; giving her sexual pleasure.
Thirdly, have you heard of people who get turned on by doing things that society discourages? Well, if you haven’t then there are and bondage is one of the ways that can satisfy their thirst.
Signs that your Woman Needs Training
Does your woman talk back to you? Is she pushing you around too much? Does she see you as a lesser man? If yes, then these are signs that you need to remind your Woman of your position in the relationship. It is your time to take charge and claim your masculinity back. Here are signs that will show you that your woman needs training;
- If she pushes you around the house and at times goes to the extent of doing it in public.
- She opposes all your ideas without even listening to them and considering them.
- Talking back at you when you are talking.
- She makes fun of you and your masculinity.
- Your relationship is sinking day by day.
- If she no longer respects you as the man and treats you like her child or house manager.
- If she is taking over the dominant sexual role and doesn’t let you be in charge.
- Using emotional blackmail on you to try and get things going her way.
How to tell if your Woman is Submissive
Is it possible for a woman to be submissive without your knowledge? Yes, it is! If your woman is submissive it might be your turn to pull up your socks and become dominant. Here is how you can tell when your woman is submissive;
Example 1: If she trusts you to make the major decisions in the relationship. This can either be financially wise or even physically. It shows that she respects your Leader-like presence and isn’t afraid of letting you decide for her life.
Example 2: Verbally appreciating you for helping out or being around in her life. This means that you are special and she sees you as a prize worth keeping. Every woman wants a strong man for her and will always take time to appreciate that.
Example 3; She hardly talks back at you; she either keeps quiet or apologizes. Being a submissive partner means that your woman knows her place.
Example 4: She respects your decisions. A woman who sees her man as an Alpha knows that it is his right to make decisions and she should go with what he says.
Why and how should You Train Your Woman
Here is Why You Should Train Your Woman;
First and foremost, as the man you are the Leader. Men were born to be leaders and you should be able to lead your woman. This means making important decisions, guiding her, and most importantly, correcting your woman when she goes out of the lane. Oh! And don’t forget to reward her when she does well.
Secondly, you are the man and it’s your duty! Being the dominant person means that you can make your woman treat you how you’ve always wanted. You may be questioning why your women always take the upper hand but have you tried being the man in that relationship?
Lastly, it’s your right! Yes, people may go ahead and think that it’s sexiest but does that matter when your relationship is going downhill just because of what people think? I think not. Tell your woman what you like and your dislikes, walk away when she talks back, and let her know that you are the Alpha in the relationship.
How to train your woman to become submissive (explained in details)
The most important thing to know is not all women are meant or fit to be submissive. If anything at all, women will tell you that being submissive is hard. It requires a lot of discipline, respect, and obedience but in the long run, makes sex more pleasurable and fun. However, if you are willing to give soft BDSM a shot, here are a few ways in which you can train your woman to be submissive to you?
- Don’t be over available.
- Talk to your woman.
- Learn to set boundaries.
- Understand the female nature and accept it.
- Sell your woman a fantasy.
- Don’t do things friends do.
- Love your woman.
- Add some soft BDSM clips.
- Always point out the difference between you and her other men.
- Dominate her sexually.
- Emotional enslavement.
- Your way or no way.
- Never crush Your Woman emotionally.
- Never let her speak to you from the dominant mindset.
- Give her Ice.
· Don’t be Over Available.
It may sound easy but it isn’t. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being available. The issue is being over-available to a point where your woman no longer sees you as the man you are rather as an option that she will always have. Learn to let her fix her problems on her own, offer a listening ear but do not overdo it or else you risk losing your masculinity and turning into another “boy-girl friend” who she has girl talks with!
· Talk to your woman.
Yes, you are the Alpha but have you ever considered sitting down and having a chat with your better half about certain decisions in your life? If not then you should. Most women are open-minded when the decision involves someone they love. This is simply because they feel safe and secure around a man and believe he’ll make the best decision for both of them. In as much as the submission isn’t for every woman, involving your woman and getting to know what she likes/not comfortable with will make incorporating Soft BDSM into your relationship way easier.
· Learn to set boundaries.
Being a dominant man means that you should always have the upper hand. The first rule is Never to let your woman walk all over you! A woman will never respect a man who cannot make his own decisions and stand by them. It shows less masculinity and no woman wants a weak dominant in her life.
· Understand the Female nature and accept it.
Understanding the female nature means knowing how your female thinks and operates then simply becoming immune to her charm. A woman can talk you out/into anything she wants and the moment you set your dominance straight and take charge, she will learn to submit to you. This simply means that you will have to learn to tell your woman No despite not wanting to.
· Sell your woman a fantasy.
Learn to reward her for good behaviors and correct or punish her for bad ones. Is your woman a dog? No, but we can all agree that this is the best and most effective way to train your woman to obey and be submissive. For example, if she does something wrong and goes ahead to admit then apologies, take her out for a romantic dinner. On the other hand, if she wrongs and doesn’t admit it or goes ahead to blame others, ignore her for a few days. With time, she’ll learn how to treat you or behave when around you.
· Don’t do things friends do.
Friends go out for coffee at the café near the street corner, they go shopping in malls, they have lunch together in the office and you are not just a friend! If you want your woman to submit and treat you like the man you are, change the environment. Add some spice into your meetings, make a romantic setting, and set the mood for a romantic date. Show her the difference between her male friends and a real alpha man. Submissiveness is earned not demanded.
· Love your woman.
Think of submissiveness as a gift from your woman for loving her unconditionally. Don’t let her doubt the love you have from her but instead spoil her when need be. Don’t feel shy to go down on her, kiss her neck, biting her nipples and lick cold ice-cream off her body. Loving your woman is not all about giving her material things but also giving her sexual pleasures that only you can get access to. Give her a reason to smile when she thinks about you and it goes without reason that she’ll be willing to do anything to keep you in her life. All you will need is to say the word and she will do it.
· Add some Soft BDSM clips to the mix.
Spice up that weekly movie night by replacing that century-old comedy movie with some soft BDSM clips. Not only does this give you the idea of what your sub loves but also tells you how open to trying new things your woman is. Derrick my good friend never had the idea that his wife was open to trying Bondage till they both watched Fifty Shades of Grey and their relationship took a new turn. Five years later, their marriage is doing better than it was and Derrick enjoys being the dominant person.
· Always Point out the Difference Between you and the Other Men she has been with.
It will take a long time for your woman to accept this but with time she will let her guard down and start seeing you as the new dominant man in her life. Being different from the rest is the key goal here. Let her see you as the controller, the strong person in the relationship, and the Alpha. Make the experience things that she has never felt before and your woman will learn to obey and submit to the alpha that she has in her life.
· Always Dominate her Sexually.
Pain and pleasure are two things that go hand in hand in a submissive relationship and teaching your woman this is the very first step. Allowing your woman to sexually perform in a position she feels most confident in then taking control by either biting her nipples or giving her a light spank not only gives her the freedom to enjoy her sexuality but also the submissiveness. Below I have attached the perfect restraint kit for beginners who are open to explore the bondage world;
· Your Way or No Way
It is either your way or not! Learn to set the rules and stand by them. Letting your woman know that it is either your way or you are leaving will make her obey your orders. This will however work only if she respects you and sees you as a prize worth having. What if she leaves me? No dominant man is scared or asks this question because if she leaves, she didn’t deserve you in the first place.
· Never crush your woman emotionally.
Dominance is one thing but crushing your woman emotionally is not allowed in any way. Your woman is your queen and learning her weak points and limits is something you should do. There is no explanation however of ruining your submissive emotions concerning bondage. Learning her weak points lets you know what you can use against her and what you can’t. If she is too much emotionally unstable, maybe it is high time for you to rethink the Dom-Sub relationship.
· Never let her speak to you from the dominant mindset.
Feel like you are no longer in control? Is your masculinity being crushed? Well, you just might want to remind yourself that you are the man in that relationship and it is your role to take charge. Letting your woman talk back at you or give you orders will switch your dominance position faster than how gossip spreads in your little home town. Guard your willingness and never crush down emotionally. You are supposed to be strong and that is what your woman needs to see to obey you.
· Emotional Enslavement
Physical enslavement is illegal but we are talking about emotional enslavement. Women get emotionally enslaved and attached faster than men. Take her on a roller coaster of emotions then avoid her for a few days and it is with no doubt that she’ll be curious as to why you are avoiding her. This is when you carefully state out your rules, tell her what has been working or not for you then give her time to internalize and decide whether she will change.
· Give her Ice.
If worse gets to worse, giving her ice will always work. What does this mean? It is simply going away for a few days in which you keep zero communication with her. This helps her to reflect on her behaviors and your presence in her life. Maybe take a trip with your boys or go for a short vacation or a weekend road trip and be unavailable for one to three days. A short relation break can also go a long way.
Power and dominance, how bad do you need it?
If your answer is yes, the above methods should work for you and you will get to enjoy the power and dominance that relationships have to offer. Being confident in your-self and trusting the process is a must. You must train your woman how you want her to be, No one else will! Take charge and let your Submissive other respect your Dominance.
What if training my woman to be submissive doesn’t work?
Just as submissiveness isn’t meant for all women, being dominant too isn’t for everyone. But the main question should be why do you doubt yourself? Taking into consideration that you have gone through the entire article means that you are a Dominant man and nothing should make you doubt that!
You will always have two options;
- Take Charge, train your woman, and make her the masterpiece that you have always wanted.
- Hope for the best and keep watching your relationship sink.
It is all in your hands and the decision is yours to make! Below is a book that will not only guide you but also help you master and perfect the act of being a Dom. It has helped a lot of my friends and I am certainly sure it will help you too.
Finally,
“A dominant needs they’re submissive just as much as their sub needs them,” Kitten Sarah a submissive kitty and writer states.
Training your woman to obey your orders might be amazing, will give your relationship a new spark, and will give you an upper hand. It is however important to note that you shouldn’t take advantage of the power you newly have or you might end up losing yourself and your submissive all at once.
Also, don’t forget that YOU MUST TRAIN YOUR WOMAN!
Mold her, hold her, take her step by step and most importantly give her time to become a masterpiece. In the long run, you will watch her obey and bow to your dominance and that relationship will flourish.
